The Many Jobs of Remus Lupin
by dirtydeedsdonedirtcheap
Summary: Remus learned quickly that being a member of the Order would not pay his bills.


**Disclaimer:**** Anything you recognize belongs to J.K. Rowling.**

**The Many Jobs of Remus Lupin**

_Click. _

A flash of light made Remus Lupin jump out of bed and blindly look for his wand. He groaned, tumbling to the floor thanks to his sheets. He squinted his hazel eyes and tiredly scowled at his flat mate, Sirius Black, who was grinning while holding a large muggle camera.

"Smile!" he shouted, pressing the button to the camera again.

The camera flashed and Remus shut his eyes tightly, grumbling under his breath as he tried to blindly kick Sirius even though he was on the floor and tangled in his sheets.

"What are you doing?" he asked, smiling triumphantly as Sirius howled from pain and fell on his bed. Remus got up and shoved his foot in Sirius's face, making him shout with disgust.

"Uh! Don't you shower?" he asked, pretending to gag. "I'm trying to create _memories_ so you can remember the day you started your first real job! How exciting!"

Remus groaned. He didn't want to know where Sirius had gotten a muggle camera and he _didn't _want any pictures commemorating this day.

"Sirius, it isn't a _real_ job. It's just _a_ job," he said with a grumble.

Of course Sirius had to make a big deal about this. He made a big deal about _everything._ When Remus asked Sirius if he would like to share a flat with him, Sirius had celebrated for the last two months of school. After graduation they promptly moved in together. Now, as members of the Order of the Phoenix, the two were living together and fighting a war together.

Remus had quickly realized war did _not_ pay the bills.

At the moment Sirius didn't have to worry about money or a job. He had plenty and offered to pay Remus's side of everything as long as Remus served him his food and drinks in a suit and tie like a muggle butler.

Curse Lily for introducing Sirius to muggle television.

"Remus Lupin," he said, jumping off the bed and running around the room, "bookkeeper—"

"I'm not a bookkeeper!" shouted Remus.

Just thinking of work made him nervous. Maybe he would just not…

_No_. He needed this job. He needed _any_ job. Sirius wouldn't be there to always take care of him. Remus would not dress up _again_ and serve him his drinks.

"I'm an employee at a bookstore. I put books away all day long and ring customers up at the till. There's nothing extravagant about work but you wouldn't know anything about that because you lay around all day doing nothing."

Sirius didn't say anything. He stopped jumping and followed Remus to the loo, smacking his hand over his eyes as Remus peeled off his t-shirt to change into his work clothes.

"Sounds riveting," he said boredly. "Bet lots of girls will come in. Make sure you brush your hair."

Remus scowled but patted his light brown hair down nonetheless. It wouldn't hurt to make a good impression with the customers. Hopefully they wouldn't notice his tired sunken eyes, the scars on his face that were slowly healing from the last full moon and his black robes that were patched up with grey fabric.

"I have no time for girls," he responded, turning on the tap and rummaging around their cabinet for his toothbrush.

Sirius was always 'borrowing' it for reasons Remus did not want to know. It was only when tufts of dark hair appeared on his toothbrush he would throw it away.

"You're boring. Moony, you're more interesting when you're asleep. Why can't you just continue being my personal assistant? Are you decent yet?"

Remus rolled his eyes, brushed his teeth vigorously and then spat into the slightly grey sink.

"I'm _always_ your assistant," he grumbled, looking up into the mirror at Sirius's reflection.

Sirius was peeking through his fingers and pouting at him. His long dark hair was tied up in a bouncy ponytail (_I'm a horse_, he would say whenever he put it up, _neigh!)_ and he had been trying to grow out a patchy beard.

"Sirius, we talked about this."

"I know. I _know_. I'm going to be so bored. Who am I going to play with?"

Remus shrugged, dropped his toothbrush in the sink and started walking back towards his room.

"Do something productive. Here's an idea rich boy, get a job."

Sirius scowled and pushed past Remus. He walked towards the cardboard box he used as his dresser and started sifting through his clothing, pulling out a rumpled blue tie.

"I have a job. I'm a member of the Order of the Phoenix. I just don't get _paid_ to be a member but it's my duty as a good wizard."

"And it gives you an excuse to sit on your arse all day. I'm not wearing a bleeding tie!" Remus shouted, smacking Sirius's hand away from his neck.

Sirius yelped and scurried towards Remus's bed, flopping down on the ripped brown duvet and tried to get comfortable on the lumpy mattress Remus had found someone throwing away one day.

"Why don't you just let me be your caretaker? I'll give you five galleons if you give me a foot rub."

He lifted his leg in the air revealing his skinny feet that were covered with black ankle length socks. The sock for the left foot was ripped and his big toe wiggled out, tufts of hair trying to wriggle free. Remus was sure Sirius never cleaned his feet because his shoes always reeked. He made a disgusted face and shook his head.

"I'm going to work. Whatever you do, do _not_ visit me," he said in a warning tone. Sirius pouted and dropped his leg. "I _need_ this job. Fighting He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named isn't going to pay my share of the rent."

"Fine!" shouted Sirius, jumping off the bed and following Remus who had slipped on his dirty grey trainers and was rushing towards their dingy fireplace in the sitting room. "I'll just defeat Death Eater's all by myself, you big baby."

Remus snorted and walked towards the dirty fireplace. Someone would have to clean it, there was soot everywhere. It was almost completely black, save for one brick that was a dull red. He knew Sirius wasn't going to clean it so he said nothing and grabbed a handful of floo powder, sneezing from the smell and stood in the fireplace, glaring at Sirius.

"Right, and you say _I'm _the child!"

It was the last thing he said before he shouted his destination, disappearing from their flat with the final word.

Remus stumbled into the shop, wiping at the soot he was sure was on his face even though he couldn't see it himself. He tried to give his robes a quick pat down and pushed a hand through his sweaty and out of place hair. His heart was beating nervously in his chest.

What if they didn't like him? What if they took one look at him and figured out that he was a werewolf?

He shook his head, trying to let go of his worries and took a deep breath, squinting from the sunlight that was coming into the shop windows. The shop was deserted, there was a 'closed' sign on the doorway. He took the time to examine it. It wasn't large enough where Remus would get tired halfway into his shift from running back and forth from one section to another.

All the wooden shelves were labeled for different genres and books were squeezed tightly together begging to be sold.

"Hello," he said with a slight cough. "Is there anyone here?"

There was a slight rustling somewhere in the room. Remus tiptoed towards where he thought the sound was coming from, a mountain of red books shaking as he squinted, peering at them.

"We're closed!" A voice shouted, a hand shot up from the pile and then a body appeared. A short bald man glared at Remus, eyes bloodshot, and what appeared to be tomato sauce on the collar of his yellow shirt. "Get lost!"

"You're misunderstanding. I'm Remus Lupin. I'm the new employee that was hired. We met before." Remus was going to continue talking but he held his breath as the short man sauntered up to him, peering at him with his red eyes. He smelled like he had showered in alcohol and his teeth were slightly brown as he revealed them with a scowl.

"You look more manly than the last time I saw you," he said, throwing his hands up in defeat.

The man winced and then pinched the bridge of his nose, muttering curses under his breath. Suddenly it was like he was awake, his disposition hadn't changed but there seemed to be a new pep in his step. He pulled out his wand, flicked it at the 'closed' sign to 'open,' and then made a quick dash towards the back, waving his hand for Remus to follow him.

"Could have sworn I had hired a girl. Fine, you'll do. Today's a special day. Charlie will show you the ropes if he ever gets here. You graduated from Hogwarts, right?"

Remus nodded his head but then realized that the man was walking in front of him and not actually looking at him, he said, "Yes, only a few short months—"

"I'm not asking for your life story," he snapped.

He abruptly stopped walking and Remus almost knocked into him. They stopped in front of a black colored wooden door. He pushed the door open with his hairy hands and Remus almost jumped back from shock.

The entire back room was piled high with books, more than should have fit in it. Remus had never seen so many books before, spines shiny and new.

"There are only two things you must remember when working here. Number one, always remember to lock this door when you close up shop. Some of these books are worth more galleons than you can even imagine," his red eyes did a once over on Remus and his attire.

Maybe he should have worn that tie.

"Number two, the customer is always right. Even when they're wrong, they're right. No matter what they spew at you, even if they want to throw a book at your head because they want to see if it's springy, you let them."

Remus didn't know what to say. He took one last look at the room, it was steaming in some corners of the room and he was surprised to feel sweat already forming on his forehead. Before he could ask any questions, like what the bald man's name was, he was pushed out of the room by him roughly, nearly tumbling to the floor.

"Err—"

"I'm going on my lunch break. When that door closes," he pointed to a red door that had a sign, 'Do Not Enter,' on it in big bold black letters, "do _not_ bother me."

"But it's only eight in the—" He opened the red door and then promptly slammed it behind him without so much as a 'good luck' to Remus. "Alright then."

Remus stood in front of the door for a few minutes pondering what he was supposed to do. He didn't know if he had to make sure the shop was clean. The books seemed to all be in order from what he could tell. He walked towards one bookcase, letting his hands finger the spines of some of the mystery books. He didn't recognize any books that he read but he supposed that was the beauty of books, they were endless.

A pale hand smacked his hand off a royal blue spine making Remus jump back. He stared at the person who was glaring at him, lips pursed with anger. He sincerely hoped this wasn't Charlie. He was a head taller than Remus, extremely pale like he didn't go out into the sun much and wore all black, though his hair was bright orange.

"Hello," he said with a slight cough. "You must be Charlie. I'm Remus."

"Fresh meat," he said with a hiss.

Remus noticed a large red welt on his forehead and shuddered.

"You won't survive the day. I hope you had some coffee," he said nonchalantly, walking towards the pile of red books their nameless boss had popped out from.

Remus watched as he carefully picked each book up. He was wearing black velvet gloves that reminded Remus of a pair he used to wear as a child.

"This is going to be the worst first day of your life. It's a big day."

Remus scoffed to himself. He sincerely doubted that. If he could handle undergoing a transformation each full moon he could handle people who were searching for books. He had a list of recommendations in his pocket just incase someone needed one or two…or maybe three hundred.

"Why is it a big day?" he asked, not bothering to help Charlie with the books.

He didn't want him to smack his hand away again and doing nothing gave Remus the opportunity to continue examining the shop. High ceilings, shelves of books, blue colored walls, wooden floors. Nothing out of the ordinary. It seemed like an easy job to him.

"Of course you wouldn't realize," Charlie said with an evil grin.

It looked evil to Remus anyway. Charlie reminded him of the muggle vampires he had read about in books. Really white skin, scary dark eyes and pale lips. If the sun hadn't been out, Remus would have asked him what type of blood he liked to drink.

"Fresh out of school then, eh? Not only is this the time it starts to get busy for school books but there's a new book coming out today _The Bloodthirsty Vampire and the Voluptuous Witch._ It's a teen series. It's going to be a madhouse of pushing parents and screaming teenagers dying to know what happens with Roldolpho and Esmeralda."

"Vampire and Voluptuous Witch…huh…sounds…"

"_Awful_," Charlie finished for him, picking up some more red books.

There had to be at least fifty of them. None of them had any words on the cover or the spine.

"You don't know the awful things we get in here that are bestsellers. Last month it was _Wizards vs. Werewolves_, three months ago I got bitten by a middle-aged woman who got angry because I ran out of stock of _Sunlight_…you _don't_ even want to know about the story with that one. I'll never look at a ghost the same way again."

Remus gulped at werewolves. He didn't know what else to say but thankfully the bell on the door tinkled and he turned on his heel, a large smile on his face as a customer walked into the shop. She had to be around eighty, with snow white hair, large eyeglasses that made her blue eyes pop and she wore rich burgundy robes.

"Sir, I'm looking for—"

Before he could say anything, the door jingled again and five teenage girls rushed into the shop, running past the woman, each hitting her with their elbows and they hopped in front of Remus like he had candy and they wanted it.

"Sir—" The woman tried to shout over the girls. Remus tried to peer around them but they kept jumping up and down, higher than he was sure any normal person could jump.

"We're looking for _The Bloodthirsty Vampire and the Voluptuous Witch_, please tell me you have a copy," one girl demanded.

She was blonde and short but she was jumping higher than the two other girls that were taller than her. She had her hair in pigtails and wore a gingham dress that said, 'Sweetheart' on it with strawberries. Remus smiled warmly at her.

This was what he liked to see. Little innocent girls wanting to read books. Having a thirst for knowledge.

He pointed his finger to a large purple sign that hung on the other end of the store.

"The book you're looking for right over there. We have _loads_ of copies. Now, run along children!" he said, watching as the three girls shrieked, running madly towards the book.

He grinned and calmly listened to the door jingle again. Charlie grunted near him as he put the rest of the red books away. The old woman that had been pushed aside by the girls glared at him, clicking her tongue. She wore a large magenta hat with navy robes and a dead skunk around her neck.

"Sir—"

"_MINE!_" A voice shouted. Remus jumped, eyes scanning the room nervously as Charlie cursed near him. "_THAT'S MINE!"_

Remus ignored the red faced, snow-white haired woman, pushed her to the side as his eyes tried to scan all the heads. The shop had suddenly gotten extremely packed. He shoved children out of the way, mother's yelling shrilly at him as they tried to protect their young. His eyes fell on a brawl that was going on right next to the, _The Bloodthirsty Vampire and the Voluptuous Witch _books.

Six young girls were wrestling each other for _one_ book. The shelves that had the books were empty and other girls hugged the purple book to their chest, running off to the till and shoving other girls out of their way who were trying to steal their books.

"_CAN I GET SOME ASSISTANCE!_" Another voice shouted. Remus swiveled around. He didn't know what to do. Behind him the old woman with the large hat was poking his back with a very long fingernail and pursing her lips at him angrily.

"I'm going to suck your blood if you don't get me a book!" One of the fighting girls shouted at him.

Remus took a step back, bumping into a small boy who started to cry loudly, his wails filling the shop.

The girl was wearing a black-and-white polka dot dress and her brown hair was up in a high ponytail, swishing back and forth gently like a horse's tail. Her blue eyes gave off a hint of innocence.

Remus quickly realized that the girl was anything but innocent.

He tried to keep his composure but he was sweating. His ears hurt and he just wanted to crawl in a corner, preferably somewhere dark and childless and sleep the day away.

"_She_ stole my book!" Another fighting girl shouted. Remus kept looking left and right as the girls, who all started to look alike, (with horns on their ears because he could have sworn they were the devil children he read about in books), argued.

"Well," he said with a nervous gulp, running a hand through his damp hair, "that's not nice. Stealing isn't—_OW!_" He stopped himself before he cursed, holding onto his arm and biting his lower lip until he tasted blood, staring at the brown haired, polka dotted dressed girl. "You _bit_ me!"

She whistled innocently and glared at him. "There's more where that came from if you don't get us some more books!"

The rest of the girls around her cheered, letting go of the one book. A red headed girl with large glasses grabbed onto it and ran off towards the till with glee.

"How about finding another—"

The girl gave him a look and crossed her arms against her chest, tapping her foot impatiently. "There aren't any more books," she said snootily. "Don't you dare tell us to get a different book. We _need_ to find out if Esmeralda finally gives in to Roldolpho. If I don't find out I'll just _die_," she said dramatically. "Do you want me to die?"

Remus decided he wouldn't answer that question. He truly wasn't sure if he was going to say yes or no.

"Hey, mister!" Another girl said, poking his stomach. Remus yelped, trying to pat her hand away and the old woman who had resumed stabbing him with her long nails.

The girl that was poking him was taller than the others. She looked like she had to be a sixth or seventh year with dirty blonde hair and large red glasses that made her appear like a bug. Remus watched with horror as she grabbed his hand and bit down hard, giggling once she let him go as he howled again.

"Ow! What the hell do you think you're doing. _Don't_ bite me."

She rolled her eyes. "I'm a vampire."

He wanted to snarl at her and tell her that he was a werewolf and a real one at that. Instead of trying to figure out a solution he faked left and then right, barreling through the group of girls and ran around, looking for Charlie.

He saw him walking towards the door that his nameless boss had entered not so long ago.

"Charlie!" he shouted, waving his hands frantically in the air. "Charlie, where are you going?"

Charlie didn't even turn around, his hand was on the knob to the door and he yelled back hollowly, "I'm going on my lunch break. You should be fine!"

Remus gulped. "But its only been ten minutes!"

He watched as he entered the room and the door slammed shut firmly behind him. Remus felt a wave of panic rush over him as he turned over to face the angry customers. Girls were fighting, knocking down books from their respective cases. Little boys were flinging books at each other while their parents idly watched, arching their eyebrows at Remus like they were _his_ responsibility.

Heart beating in his chest erratically, Remus walked backwards, bumping into customers and bookcases, trying desperately to reach the doorway or a mysterious safe haven he had missed earlier when he was examining the store.

"How old are you?" he asked one of the girls. She sneezed in response, wiping her nose with the back of her hand. "I don't think the book is appropriate for your age—_ow_! You just kicked me!"

A girl snickered as the other girls behind her, and the old woman, cheered her on. His leg throbbed as he continued walking and then abruptly stopped, back to the wall, cornered by everyone in the shop.

After countless transformations this was how Remus Lupin was going to die. All because he didn't have a stupid book for silly little girls. He knew, as he gripped his wand, that he couldn't hurt the children. He wasn't going to but as he growled at the girl that kicked him and held his wand up he hoped he could scare her and everyone else away.

"Stay away from my angel!" A voice shouted. A woman pushed through the crowd, grabbing her demonic child and pulling her away to safety.

"But she just kicked me!" Remus shouted.

"_LIAR!_" Another parent shouted. He groaned, pocketed his wand and put his hands up in surrender. He really had no other option.

The crowd was getting rowdier, stepping closer and closer to him. Girls grabbed at him, pulling his shirt and cloak, demanding that he get them their book or else experience their wrath.

For such young girls they had quite a lot of wrath.

The old woman that had been poking him earlier, pushed past some of the girls and stared right into his eyes, making him blink rapidly from nervousness.

"Sir, I need _Standard Book of Spells—_" Her voice was soft, light. It didn't register in his head that she wasn't being nasty to him but something inside of Remus snapped.

His left eye twitched and his teeth grinded together. "_GET IT YOURSELF_!" he bellowed.

The fighting ceased, the yelling stopped and everyone in the shop stared at him. Some gaped, their mouths wide open while others shook their heads, muttering under their breath about the poor service.

Remus blushed and hung his head from shame as the old woman placed her hand on her heart. Three little girls gently steered her away from Remus, patting her arm to comfort her.

The crowd quickly started to break apart, letting one small angry man through who was the color of the tomato. He was walking straight towards Remus, the nameless boss, with Charlie gloomily at his heels.

"Ramona!" he shouted, wagging a thick sausage finger at him. "You're fired!"

"It's Remus," he said with a grumble. He glared at Charlie who was smiling in triumph.

Sirius jumped as Remus stumbled out of the fire place, only twenty minutes after he had left for his job. He arched his eyebrow and kicked his legs up on their grey settee and stared at Remus.

Remus looked like he had just finished running through an obstacle course. His already sad cloak was ripped and his arm was red. He was limping as he cursed under his breath and gave Sirius a sorrowful look as he reached the settee.

"For your next job," he said, not even bothering to hear an explanation or words of protest, "make sure it's something much more interesting. Now," he moved, dropping his legs to the floor and bent over, picking up his muggle camera, "smile. This will be our first Remus got fired photograph."

Sirius held up the large black camera smiling brightly. Remus hung his head and grumbled next to him.

It would be the first photo but not the last of the many jobs of Remus Lupin.

**Author's Note****: That was extremely enjoyable to write. I was going to make this into a three shot or short story collection but we can only read about Remus losing his job so many times. Don't forget to review and let me know what you thought!**


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